T H U R S D A Y

W E D N E S D A Y

Let It Go

Hey you,


So I have finally let go of my Playstation 3. Not just cause the PS4 is now out but, I feel like it has been sitting beside my flatscreen acting like a vase instead of living up to its name as a game console. Sold it off to a dear friend.

Okay, I lied. The main reason why I wanted to sell it off was because of the PS4. Then realized might as well use the money for an iPhone 5s. Heard some rumors that iPhone 6 is coming out later this year. And since my iPhone 4 is still in good condition, might as well just wait. Wait for what? For the rocket to come. Just kidding... nah, it just got too complicated I decided to f*ck it all and just save up the money for a rainy day.

Thank goodness for todays battle did not require a hard fight.

On a heavier note, it has been 8 weeks that I am without Jackie in my life. I had a dream just the other night of me walking her just like we normally do. Her leash slipped through my fingers, she walked ahead of me, I tried to keep up, I told her to slow down, she did not listen, she seemed determined to just reach to whatever is ahead of her and there I was chasing her frantically and in the end all I could do was helplessly watch as she disappeared from my sight.

I woke up crying, and bawled my eyes even more after out realizing that it wasn't just a dream. She. Is. Gone.

FACT.

Never from my mind, heart and soul but I can't touch her, cuddle her, or see her ever again. (this little piggy cried wee-wee all the way home)

Oh Jackie, I have missed you so... I'll cry, be cranky whenever I miss you but I promise at the end of the day I'll SUCK IT UP. Plus, when things don't go my way, I've always got this little reminder; be better NOT  bitter. 



Much love,

Man Made Problems

There are days when;

I tend to look so far ahead into the future..

Predicting, assuming on whats going to happen.

The good and the bad.

Then, there are days when;

I have nothing wrong going on in my life,

but I tend to look so deep into my past,

and bamm!

Here comes another man-made problem, which in the first place, did not even exist.

Now you see, sometimes I think too far ahead.. or too far back until I forget to see whats in front of me. Thus, forgetting what I have NOW. 

The PRESENT.

Come to think about it.

I'm good. 

In fact, I'm blessed.

:)

Much love,

Natasha.

What Would You Say?

What if I'm selfish enough to say,

I want to be the one that makes ur heart beat fast and slower that exact same time.

The one who invades your mind;

day in and day out.


What would you say?

What would you say?
                                                                                                     

*yawn*


Goodnight.





Much love,

Natasha A. Juan

A Few Of My Favorite Things Gone Missing

I miss this.

I miss coming here and pouring my heart out.

I rarely have time to listen to my heart now, been ignoring it for awhile.

I love my current job, I do.

But yeah, it's hard to find time to sit down and do nothing.

And get lost in a world of my own here.

I'll find a day.

I'll find a way.

I'll find that balance.

Somehow, someday.

Just give me time.


Enough bout me... how are you?

:)




Much love,
Natasha A. Juan

Spiderwebs

Hey you,


Forgive me for not posting as much as before. What happened you may asked? Work happened. In a good way. I promise to keep you updated. Soon.

I'm in love and always will be. I'm just a tad busy.



Much love,
Natasha A. Juan

Feelings

My feelings woke me up in the middle of the night.




XOXO
Natasha A. Juan

Here With The Now, Gone With The Then

Hey you,

It seems as if my life revolves around work nowadays. As absurd as this may sound I find that 'work' keeps me sane. Have I changed? Some might think so. I was once the one who spoke ever so fondly of love. I never gotten out of it but I guess some little traits of it have change. As days go by and my head wandering up further and further into clouds, I feel a tinge of emptiness.

No, this does not mean I haven't had joy. I had tonnes. In a daily basis in fact.

People, as easy as they come and go whether you may like it or not, leave little trails inside of you. The good, the bad and the cherished. *Sigh*

There's love and then there is romance. Two of which I need in a relationship. The best part about the early stages of love is the mystery. Take that out, and basically you're left with nothing. Nothing but good ol' love. So how do I, we, you, me keep that spark alive? I have no frickin' idea. I have no frickin' idea. I have no frickin' idea.

But do have a thought. Which is carry on a day at time, and hope with all my might that I one day will be answered. Not by quotes, not just by previous experience and most definitely not 'just' by prayers.

Til' then, maybe not tomorrow, not the day after or even next week, but til' that day comes, I'll keep you posted.


Your confused but always in love writer,
Natasha A. Juan



*This dusty post has been in my draft for a few months back. Just felt like posting it up for sentimental-emotional-value (does it even make sense?).

Pride and Prejudice

I'll trade my pride with love.

Any given day.

Any given day.






Love,
Natasha A. Juan

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Hello,

Gosh. I miss a whole lot of people. I miss a whole lot of things that I love doing. Don't get me wrong. I am pretty happy at where I am at. I got a job now which I love as well, and yeah, that pretty much takes up most of my time. But yeah, I do miss my hobby. I miss these:

I miss capturing these.  I took all these last year with my trusty Olympus. And I really miss doing so.

WORLD, HOLD ON.

I need times like these again. I miss spending time with my 'baby'.


Not to worry, in time I'll find time to hold my 'baby' once again. Sooner. Later.  Eventually. In time.



I'll be back. *Robocop style*

:)


Much love,
Natasha A. Juan

Halfway Through This Year

So far through this 2011, 

I HAVE BEEN

Good to know I'm very much alive.

Oh, here's a beautiful song just for YOU.



Much love,

Gimme A HIGH 5

I see humor in just about every single thing in life, always for the right reasons, just not usually at the right situations.

No.

No.

And NO.

I AM NOT on drugs.

I'm just really 'high' on LIFE.

Laughter is a tranquillizer with no side effects.

I promise..

2011, I laugh you very much. :)



Love,
Natasha A. Juan

The Looking Glass

She said, 'yes.'
I said, 'no.'

I said, 'let it go.'
She said, 'I won't do so.'

I said, 'I need help.'
she said, 'I am your help.'

I said, 'I wanted to give up.'
she said, 'but, I don't want to give up.'

I said, 'you are confusing,'
she said, 'of course I am..'




'I am YOU'.

Written by,
Natasha A. Juan

The Bull Sh!tted

Lies. It's like digging up your own grave. The best thing about knowing those who lies is when all along you have known the truth.


Oh. You can quote me.


Wait, I'm not finished. I am not playing GOD here. I just irks me that because of one lie led to a mass of trouble that ended with me stuck in between. Clean after your own poop, because you've got hands and you're not a dog.


Lie at your own risk. Do NOT trouble others.



*This entry has nothing to do with the loved ones.












Very much annoyed,
Natasha A. Juan

Toy Store

I raided the toy store today.



Life's good.:)






Love,
Natasha A. Juan

Video Of The Week

Thanks to Irene Chan who tagged me on a Facebook post to this not-much-of-a-life-changing video.

My respond to this video was that I laughed non stop during the first few minutes. Then, I actually paid attention at this hypnotizing dance. My attention diverted from the dance to wondering if he was actually wearing undies. A bit after, I was thinking that he has such long, long hair. I'm guessing that if my hair was to be as long as that, may be I should do a dance video, post it on you tube, preferably semi naked of course (people might mistake my hair as a high fashion cape, hence, considered as clothes).

This video had 53,424 viewers, okeyhh. Hmm. I'd also have to grow a beard and a mustache. Then again, I am not too sure if my moves are as groovy as his.

I have another awesome video to share. Not too sure if you can see this, it's on Facebook. But here's the link anyway.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=454068742979&ref=mf




Enjoy your weekend party beasts!




Your bodyrocker,
Natasha A. Juan

Love Game

Love is a game and can be played by many.


But there are only two winners.








Ada berani kah, kawan?

With love,
Natasha A. Juan

Ugly Truths

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish the source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies on illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering of tarnishing.


But then again,


There's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me.








Love Always,
Natasha A. Juan

Freedom Of Expression

I have a graphic mind. What ever you say to me will develop mental pictures. Watch your mouth. I'll watch mine.







Love,
Natasha A. Juan